Meetings Make Us Stupid

Meetings Make Us Stupid!

I almost fell from my chair in great bewilderment when I chanced upon a featured article in one popular internet site that reads: “Meetings Can Make Us Stupid”. Yeah, that’s true and there’s no way I am making this up. I know it sounds stupid and whoever wrote that article must have himself suffered from the immense shot. But that’s what it is. It’s the same stupid thing which I have been thinking all along too!  And I know it because every time I attend meetings, I feel that something strange is already going on inside my brain. In fact, I am not sure if I am still in my right mind when I write this blog – lol.

The article did not mention on how stupid one can become by simply having a meeting but it emphasized one sensible statement when it said that resolving issues on individual basis is better than having many (stupid) heads discussing and brainstorming the same things. It presented further explanations, instances, and proofs of people getting stupid out of these meetings but I cannot anymore divulge those findings lest I will be accused of promoting stupid stuffs here – lol. 

It is not really difficult to find proofs of symptomatic stupidity. Just look at the Philippine Congress – our beloved congressmen. All they do during meetings is disagree. If their opponents switch side, they switch to the opposite side too just so they can disagree. And they never just disagree; they also accuse each other of wrongdoings; the most common of which, is corruption. This is a serious form of stupidity – to accuse someone of doing something which everyone knows that all of them, the accuser included, do. I know it because there was once a public outcry to enact a law to punish anyone found to be stupid. And the lawmakers vehemently objected to such proposal on the grounds that first, it will be called “Stupid Law” which won’t sound very pleasing, and second, all of them feared it.

And do you know that in certain countries, lawmakers don’t use words to disagree among themselves anymore? They use their fists. Yes, their fists. And they hurl them into the air and into their opponents’ face just to stress their point! This is a more advanced form of stupidity, which, I think everyone would love to happen to our witty, intelligent lawmakers. How lovely it would be to see the fist of Senator Jinggoy landing into the face of Miriam or that of Bong into the face of Madrigal. This must be the reason why Manny Paquiao, the Philippine boxing hero, wanted to become a lawmaker!

I went a little further to find out among few of my meeting-addict friends if there are really some truths to what I just discovered. The following were their testimonies:

Friend #1: In my company, it is normal to end meetings with some issues remaining unresolved. After each meeting, my boss goes straight to his laptop and emails all the other managers saying something like, “In addition to the discussion of this issue which we haven’t yet decided, kindly consider the following points, 1-2-3, and so on, and I need you to give me your feedback ASAP.” Then he waits for the feedback. Three days and there is no feedback. He sends another email saying something like, “Since there is no feedback, I will now consider points 1-2-3 of my earlier email, and Ted should already know what to do (he means draft a memo)”. I draft the memo, sends it to my boss who then circulates it by email saying something like, “Attached is the draft memo for your comment/feedback ASAP”. There is no feedback again. So my boss sends final email saying, “Since there is no feedback, I will hold the memo in abeyance, and we will have a meeting again to discuss this unfinished issue.” And this cycle of unfinished issues starts all over again. Isn’t it stupid to hold meetings over and over again, over the same unfinished issues?

Friend #2: My boss at times calls us to solicit for our “valuable” opinions on some matters we know better on the ground. And he presents his agendum by saying, “This is the situation and I want you to give me your ideas, although my idea is A-B-C. What do you say?” I would say, “I think we can also apply D-E-F.” Another would say, “G-H-I” And the discussion just goes on until someone now uses statistics, historical data, formulas and calculations, and other members follow suit by pulling out their calculators, abacus whatever they have – all the best (stupid) things there is to muster just to get noticed. And at the end of the “very” fruitful 2-and-something hours of vigorous discussion, my boss finally says, “Hmm, hmm...” scratching his balding head, eyes transfixed to the wall for some seconds and finally concludes, “so idea A-B-C is better... that’s all. Thank you!” He says as if he wants us to clear the area, like it was bomb-laden, in 5 seconds. And we leave the room with bulging eyes in disbelief, our faces looking paper-white in terror. Why solicit our opinion when in the end, his opinion is still the better? Hmm.

Friend #3: This is what usually happens during our staff meetings: Member A says that his idea is A-B. Member B says that the idea of member A, which is A-B, is ok. Member C says that the idea of member B, which we all know is just a conformance to the idea of member A, is better. And the stupidity becomes obvious when member D suggests to combine the ideas of members B and C. The meeting is adjourned with the ideas of member A being carried out but the credit goes to members B and C due to the stupid suggestion of member D.

And the proofs just go on and on with evidence of people getting stupider and stupider. I for one don’t really believe in meetings (except for that part where the catering comes in and all we do is exercise our taste buds). They waste our precious time and energies, they overstretch the functions of our already overworked minds (due to acute internet addiction), they eat up company man-hours which we otherwise would have used in doing more important things like going to the bathroom, writing journals, chatting or surfing the net, or sending text messages to people we don’t even know. In fact, I plan to suggest for the abolition of meetings. The only problem with this suggestion is that we need to discuss thoroughly this issue through – what else, but again – meetings. And if this issue reaches to our beloved lawmakers with their serious (and most of them advanced) stage of stupidity, I am sure they will move heaven and earth to defend the sanctity of what they were elected to do – to disagree.

Anyway, if you are a person who likes to attend meetings, or may have attended many meetings in your lifetime already, I guess you need to rethink things over. I would even suggest that you go see a psychiatrist because chances are that you have become stupid yourself too (lol!); this, granting that the psychiatrists themselves have not yet been afflicted with massive doses of meeting-induced stupidity.

I got to stop for now; I have an important activity to catch up with – a nice, really, really stupid meeting.